Pitfall of the Modern Playdate

This weekend marked an important milestone in my maternal career - I hosted my 5,000th playdate. Or should I say my kids' 5000th playdate? Either way, it seemed like a perfect excuse to send out this excerpt from Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah?

Pitfalls of the Modern Playdate

play-date (n): 1. adult-supervised, adult-directed "free play" between kids. 2. an organized method of fitting socializing into a kid's hectic agenda. 3. a means of improving a child's social status and heightening his popularity. 4. the culminating step in the over-scheduling of kids' lives by over-protective, stressed-out parents.

When I first started teaching, I couldn't fathom how an otherwise with-it mom could morph into a neurotic disaster at the sheer mention of her child's social life. I mean, I could have just wrapped up a thirty minute conference with Mrs. Xberg about Justin's math and reading woes without so much as a sniffle, only to watch her well up in tears and start fishing around in her purse for the tissues the moment we broached the issues of playdates.

What's the big deal? I used to think to myself. Can't Mrs. Xberg just tell Justin to go play with the kid down the street? But when my own son hit grade school, and I began agonizing over his social calendar, I alas had a glimmering. For I - the cool as a cucumber teacher - had inexplicably morphed into a maternal tossed salad.

At an especially low point, following a momentary glimpse of my shy first-grader hanging solo in the schoolyard, I managed to convince myself that if I didn't get on the playdate ball soon, my son would grow into an antisocial recluse living in a cabin in the woods whose only friends were raccoons.

Determined to spare my six-year-old this solitary fate, I willed myself to become the playdate hostess with the mostest and began stocking up on all available literature on the topic - A counter-productive strategy, I might add, at least from an anxiety standpoint.

One article, for example, entitled "Plan the Perfect Playdate" suggested I orchestrate a caterpillar cookie recipe that would have daunted Wolfgang Puck. And do people really have potato sack races anymore? Or stitch the participants' initials on burlap sacks before the big hop-off?

Despite the societal clout of playdates, they have their share of pitfalls, too. Largely thanks to a few defining features of these contemporary kiddie rendezvous:

The Playdate Scheduling Feature -When we were kids, our social plans were arranged with a "Hey, you wanna come over?" on the school bus ride home. Today's playdates, in stark contrast, are planned weeks in advance and entered indelibly into parental blackberries.

The Problem with the Scheduling Feature - Since kids' friendships can change with the tides, a playdate planned six weeks in advance offers no guarantee that the playees will even be speaking by the designated moment of contact. Furthermore, due to vast parental involvement, playdates exude a comprehensive list of adult-driven etiquette rules that weren't even on the radar screen when kids were running the show. If someone invites our child for a playdate, for example, mommy protocol suggests we reciprocate within a reasonable period of time. If, perchance, the other mother invites our child back prior to reasonable reciprocation, we must profusely apologize and promise to have her kid over two times in a row next time.

The Adult-Supervision Feature - When we were young, unsupervised play was the norm. We'd hop from one backyard to the next (before the evolution of the cul-de-sac) and stay out until our moms called us in for dinner. Today, parents are expected to continuously supervise their children's social gatherings (and supply a long-range Walkie-talkie in the event they have to run in to check on dinner).

The Problem with the Adult-Supervision Feature - From a safety standpoint, parental vigilance is perfectly appropriate. There is however a fine line (especially with older children) between being cautious and being overprotective and smothering. Our kids are growing up in a nervous world as it is, our refusal to leave their side (when they are old enough for us to do so) sends a neon message that we, their knowledgeable parents, genuinely believe our absence will jeopardize their safety - an unsettling message indeed for children just getting their feet wet in the waters of independence.

The Organized Activity Feature - In the old days, If we and our friend grew tired of hopping on our pogo sticks, someone would say something profound like "This is boring, let's do something else." We'd bounce around ideas like climbing a tree or watching the Flintstones, and move on to a new activity. During the modern playdate, on the other hand, the host parent is the designated boredom buster. Kids (and other parents) expect us to provide playdaters with one organized option after another, and have an arsenal of dehydration-preventing juice boxes are on hand, to boot.

The Problem with the Organized Activity Feature - Having every moment of a playdate planned and accounted for from bubble blowing to Batman action figure time, deprives children of the opportunity engage in free creative play and learn to occupy themselves independently. Plus it reaffirms the erroneous belief that it is a parent's job to provide kids with round the clock entertainment.

So what can we modern parents do to counteract these playdate pifalls without making social pariahs out of ourselves? We can begin by throwing in the towel on the Julie the Loveboat Cruise Director persona (orchestrating limbo contests and shuffleboard competitions) and make like Captain Stubing, instead (controlling the ship from a comfortable distance). In other words, our role as playdate hostess is to provide a safe and pleasant playing environment, adequate (as opposed to constant) supervision, and, oh yeah, dehydration preventing juice boxes.

The ABC's of Parent-Teacher Conferences

Sharon Duke Estroff

From the teacher’s perspective, parent-teacher conferences represent a revolving door of anxious moms and dads. From the parent’s perspective it’s our big chance to find out everything we need to know about our child’s school existence! Here’s how to make the most of your kid’s fifteen minutes in the spotlight.

Arrive on time. There’s no such thing as being fashionably late to a parent-teacher conference. Even a five minute delay on a parent’s part can throw off a teacher’s carefully synchronized schedule for the rest of the evening. If you are late due to unforeseen circumstances, cut your losses by offering to finish up your chat via phone call later.

Open the meeting on a positive note. Your bulletin boards look great. I really enjoyed the writing piece Jake brought home from school today. This will help set an amiable tone for the rest of the conference.

If – or should I say when – the teacher brings up concerns (conferences rarely comprise a teacher soliloquy singing a student’s praises), don’t feel like you’re the only parent in the classroom whose kid has an issue. The truth is that every child has a shtick of some sort. Some kids’ shticks just happen to be more obvious in a school setting.

If the teacher shares an observation regarding your child that differs from your take (i.e. Emily doesn’t seem to understand what she’s reading), ask for specific examples. If you still believe the teacher to be off base, don’t tell her she’s wrong. Say something to the effect of Emily often tells me about the books she’s reading at home. Perhaps she feels a bit more distracted or anxious at school. I know how busy you are, but would you mind doing a short one-on-one assessment of Emily’s reading comprehension whenever you get a chance?

If your child is experiencing a problem at school - academic, social or behavioral – it’s important to form an action plan. What is the teacher going to do on her end? What should you do on yours? Provide a quick recap to ensure everyone’s on the same page. Just so I’m clear Mrs. Smith, I’m going to buy a pack of flashcards today and start working with Daniel on his math facts at home. You are going to include him in small group math reinforcement opportunities at school. If he doesn’t show improvement by winter break, I am going to look into having him tutored. Did I forget anything? If your child’s difficulties are too complex to address in a short conference, don’t hesitate to request a separate meeting with the teacher and other school professionals to discuss the situation in depth.

When the teacher turns the floor over to you to share questions and concerns (which she most certainly will, but if she doesn’t jump in and take it anyway!), don’t waste time talking about issues that the teacher can’t change. (I can’t stand this math book!) Bring up issues that are within the teacher’s realm of control or at least repackage them so they can be. (Sam has a hard time understanding the instructions in the math book. I’d really appreciate it if you could take a moment to go over them when assigning homework pages.) This is also the time to fill in the teacher on anything going on at home that could impact your son or daughter in the classroom.

If you’re concerned your child is not being adequately challenged academically, it’s important to present your case tactfully. First and foremost, never play the “bored” card. (Hannah keeps complaining that school is boring. Obviously the work is too easy for her.) Not only do teachers who work overtime planning exciting learning experiences for their students find such statements offensive; the reality is that kids can find school boring for a million different reasons. They may have attentional difficulties, learning problems or just want to go outside and play. Rather than focusing on the fact that your kid considers this teacher’s class to be snooze-city, say something like I noticed Hannah got all A’s in math this term. If you feel it would be appropriate, we’d love for her to have a few additional challenges in class.

Just prior to wrap-up time, the teacher will probably ask if you have any other questions. While a truthful answer would likely be Why, I do have a few zillion questions. Thanks for asking! A single inquiry is all that is socially appropriate at this point.

Don’t waste your final question on something inconsequential like, “When are the gift wrap orders due?” Make it a doozie with plenty of bang for your buck. My personal favorite: “Could you give me a general idea of where Alex falls academically in the context of the class?” Teachers have a relative understanding of our child, and a perspective of his place in the academic pack, that we parents don’t. It’s important for us to know the answer to this question, not from a competitive standpoint, but to help us understand our child as a learner.

Finally, don’t lose sight of the fact that the parent-teacher conference is a touchpoint - not an annual summit meeting. Our children’s teachers are among the most central and influential figures in our kids’ lives. It’s vital that we communicate with them regularly, effectively and respectfully.

Sharon Duke Estroff is an internationally-syndicated parenting advice columnist and feature writer for hundreds of publications including Parents Magazine, Good Housekeeping,and Coastal Living. She is an award winning educator and author of Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? (Broadway Books, 2007). www.sharonestroff.com

Kindergarten Ready or Not?

It's that time of year again. Kindergarten readiness jitters season. Is your child ready for kindergarten or would he benefit from another year of pre-kindergarten? This excerpt from my book CAN I HAVE A CELL PHONE FOR HANUKKAH? (Broadway Books, 2007) will help you answer this increasingly common question.

EXCERPTED FROM CAN I HAVE A CELL PHONE FOR HANUKKAH (Broadway Books, 2007) by Sharon Duke Estroff

To those unfamiliar with the Kindergarten Readiness Shpilkes, you may be wondering why on earth anyone would waste time worrying about whether or not their kid is ready for kindergarten. I mean it’s kindergarten for heaven’s sake! But if you are a parent, you probably know what I’m talking about. The story goes something like this…

Once upon a time there was a whimsical land of make-believe, dress-up and fingerpainting. A magical place where “work” was a four letter word, “elemenopee” was still one letter and you couldn’t spot a math fact for miles. They called it Kindergarten.

One dark day (after the royal superintendent concluded that Kindergarten’s whimsical ways were partially to blame for the kingdom’s lackluster standardized test scores) everything changed. Stuffed animals and dollhouses were replaced with math manipulatives and spelling tests. Wooden blocks and Play-Doh gave way to rigorous core curriculums and palace mandated standards.

Once word got out about Kindergarten’s abrupt metamorphosis, the parents of the kingdom started to worry that it would take more than five candles on a birthday cake to prepare their children to enter this playroom turned pressure cooker. In fact some decided it would take at least six candles!
Now the royal superintendent had a whole new problem on his hands - with so many children entering Kindergarten at age six, he needed to up the difficulty level. So he did. Now the parents were even more worried, especially in the case of boys whose birthdays fell precariously close to the cut-off date. And that’s how the kindergarten readiness shpilkes came to be.

(By the way, if you’re wondering what happened to that once carefree land of dress-up and make-believe, it now has a new name. They call it preschool.)

Having managed to deliver all four of my kids a stone’s throw from the illustrious school cut-off date, I’m a member in good standing of the “Late Birthday” Parents Club. So you know I speak from experience when I tell you that the worrying kicks in the instant the ultrasound technician assigns our baby a due date between Passover and Rosh Hashanah (or Rosh Hashanah and Hanukkah depending on your local kindergarten entry cut-off date). Double the worry if the ultrasound technician also reveals our baby to be a boy. We then proceed to fret for the next five years. One minute we are all but certain our kid will be able to handle the demands of the modern kindergarten curriculum (a.k.a. the former first grade curriculum) despite being a “young” five; and the next we are convinced that if we don’t give him the “gift” of an extra year we’ll hopelessly doom his academic career. But even a final verdict can’t free us from our misery, as every academic or social glitch our child experiences over the next twelve years will leave us wondering whether it could have been prevented had we only made a different choice about kindergarten.

The Real Scoop on Retention

So you’re ready for the bottom line, huh? You want to know if it’s better to delay or not to delay kindergarten entry for late birthday children. Unfortunately, as of press time, it still has no answer.
And it’s certainly not for lack of trying. Mounds of research have been collected in hopes of revealing the real scoop on retention, only to conclude that there is no scoop. Dr. Lorrie Shepard, for example, a professor of research methodology at the University of Colorado at Boulder, reviewed sixteen studies on the long-term effects of delaying kindergarten and found there to be no significant difference between kids who had been retained and those who hadn’t.

In fact, just about the only decisive result that’s emerged from the retention research at all, is that roughly15% of children entering kindergarten nationwide have been held back. And that the vast majority of these late starters are Caucasian, male, born in the second half of the year, and come from rather affluent homes (Zill, Spencer-Loomis, & West, 1997, West et al, 2000).

The lack of conclusive evidence, however, hardly implies kids can’t profoundly benefit from an extra year. (Many do.) Or be hindered by one. (Some are.) In fact the ambiguous evidence likely results from a relatively even matching between the pros and cons of delaying kindergarten. Take the example of Ben and Josh, two boys I taught as second graders, who had exactly the same birthday (August 15); had been retained for presumably the same reason (poor fine motor skills); yet saw very different outcomes from their extra year.
By the time Ben arrived in my class at the age of seven (his birthday was the first day of school), he was at the top of his game. That extra year of Pre-K had been just what the doctor ordered. Ben had kicked off kindergarten cutting and coloring with the best of them; hardly struggling writing in his daily journal or doing other seatwork. Ben emerged from kindergarten confident, proud and positive about school and remained on that track for the long haul.

Josh was a different story, as round two of Pre-K scarcely made a dent in his list of fine motor issues. Josh, it turns out, would need far more than 365 extra days to clean up his coloring act – he would need years of occupational therapy (only complicated by his being shut out of a prime early intervention window while his parents and teachers eagerly waited for that extra year to work its “magic”). Making matters worse, Josh had been intellectually ready for kindergarten at age five. He was an introspective child who lapped up learning. Because the repetition of the Pre-K curriculum left Josh bored and frustrated, he started acting out in class – ultimately being labeled as a behavior problem. By the time I met Josh in second grade, he’d already decided he hated school.

What we learn from Ben and Josh is that there is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all answer to the kindergarten dilemma. We owe it to our kids to shy away from blanket assumptions about age, gender and readiness. To take the time to make a careful, thoughtful choice based on their individual academic, social and emotional profiles in combination with the pace, expectations and philosophy of the school they will be attending. Don’t try to make this decision alone. Consultation with teachers and pediatricians, as well as private educational testing, can help you determine whether retention is a good choice for your child.
In the end what matters most is that you believe in the direction you’ve chosen for your child and remain strong enough in your resolve not to second guess your decision. Sure you’ll encounter some rough spots along the way, but chances are that your child will be just fine – retention or not - as long as you and the school are there to guide and support him throughout his journey.

Sharon Duke Estroff is a nationally syndicated parenting columnist, award winning educator and author of Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah (Broadway Books, 2007). Visit her website at www.21st-Century-Kids.com

Pitfalls of the Modern Playdate

My kids have been out of school for 10 days now (I'm sure yours have too!)and we've had more playdates than I can count. And while it warms my heart to see my children bonding with their buddies, I also find something rather bizarre about the advent of the modern playdate. Which is why I've pulled up one of my favorite "best of" columns to start off the new year. Here it is...

Pitfalls of the Modern Playdate

By Sharon Duke Estroff

Brandon was 3 the first time another mother called me to schedule a playdate. “A playdate,” I giggled, “That’s so clever! Did you make that up yourself?” (The dead silence on the other end of the phone clued me in that I had just made a monumental maternal faux-pas that could potentially rival my last monumental maternal-faux pas of offering up a bag of artificially colored/flavored Cheetos – rather than the au natural variety – to my son’s playgroup.) The other mother suddenly had a dire emergency and promised to call back. She didn’t.
Determined to spare myself future mortification, I began reading up on the ins and outs of playdates; rapidly surmising they entailed a considerable amount of parental involvement. One article, for example, entitled “Plan the Perfect Playdate” suggested I orchestrate a caterpillar cookie recipe that would have given Wolfgang Puck a run for his money. And honestly do people really have potato sack races anymore?
Four kids and many magazine articles later, I now feel I am a virtual authority in the field of playdates. And considering Merriam-Webster has yet to add this modern mommy term to the official lexicon, I’ve taken it upon myself to write a definition.

play-date (n): 1. adult-supervised, adult-directed “free play” between kids. 2. an organized method of fitting socializing into a kid’s hectic agenda. 3. a means of improving a child’s social status and heightening his popularity. 4. the culminating step in the over-scheduling of kids’ lives by over-protective, stressed-out parents.

Despite the societal clout of playdates, many experts fear these contemporary kiddie rendezvous can be stagnating for older children who are developmentally prepared to be more independent. The following defining features are largely to blame:
The Playdate Scheduling Feature -When we were kids, our social plans were arranged with a “Hey, you wanna come over?” on the school bus ride home. Today’s playdates, in stark contrast, are planned weeks in advance and entered indelibly into parental palm pilots.
The Problem with the Scheduling Feature: Since kids’ friendships can change with the tides, a playdate planned six weeks in advance offers no guarantee that the playees will even be speaking by the designated moment of contact. Furthermore, due to vast parental involvement, playdates exude a comprehensive list of adult-driven etiquette rules that weren’t even on the radar screen when kids were running the show. If someone invites our child for a playdate, for example, mommy protocol suggests we reciprocate within a reasonable period of time. If, perchance, the other mother invites our child back prior to reasonable reciprocation, we must profusely apologize and promise to have her kid over two times in a row next time.

The Adult-Supervision Feature - When we were young, unsupervised play was the norm. We’d hop from one backyard to the next (before the evolution of the cul-de-sac) and stay out until our moms called us in for dinner. Today, parents are expected to continuously supervise their children’s social gatherings (and supply a long-range Walkie-talkie in the event they have to run in to check on dinner).
The Problem with the Adult-Supervision Feature - From a safety standpoint, parental vigilance is perfectly appropriate. After all, awful, unthinkable things can happen to children when they are out of a parent’s vision and earshot (and the media makes sure we don’t forget it!). There is however a fine line (especially with older children) between being cautious and being overprotective and smothering. Our kids are growing up in a nervous world as it is, our refusal to leave their side (when they are old enough for us to do so) sends a neon message that we, their knowledgeable parents, genuinely believe our absence will jeopardize their safety - an unsettling message indeed for children just getting their feet wet in the waters of independence.
The Organized Activity Feature - In the old days, If we and our friend grew tired of hopping on our pogo sticks, someone would say something profound like “This is boring, let’s do something else.” We’d bounce around ideas like climbing a tree or watching the Flintstones, and move on to a new activity. During the modern playdate, on the other hand, the host parent is the designated boredom buster. Kids (and other parents) expect us to provide playdaters with one organized option after another, and have an arsenal of dehydration-preventing juice boxes are on hand, to boot.
The Problem with the Organized Activity Feature – Having every moment of a playdate planned and accounted for from bubble blowing to Batman action figure time, deprives children of the opportunity engage in free creative play and learn to occupy themselves independently. Plus it reaffirms the erroneous belief that it is a parent’s job to provide kids with round the clock entertainment.

So what can we modern parents do to counteract these playdate pifalls without making social pariahs out of ourselves? We can begin by throwing in the towel on the Julie the Loveboat Cruise Director persona (orchestrating limbo contests and shuffleboard competitions) and make like Captain Stubing, instead (controlling the ship from a comfortable distance). In other words, our role as big kid playdate hostess is to provide a safe and pleasant playing environment, adequate (as opposed to constant) supervision, and, oh yea, dehydration preventing juice boxes.

Sharon Duke Estroff is an internationally-syndicated parenting columnist and author of CAN I HAVE A CELL PHONE FOR HANUKKAH? (Broadway Books, 2007). Her years as a classroom teacher and four school-age children give her an endless flow of material. www.sharonestroff.com and http://21stcenturykids.blogspot.com/

When Zoey 101 Becomes Zoey 102

But it can't be true. I mean it wasn't true with Miley Cyrus, was it? How could the 16-year-old star of Nickelodeon's squeaky-clean "Zoey 101" be knocked up? How could little Jamie Lynn Spears be trumping big sis Brit in tabloid cover-story potential? And - much more importantly - how on Earth am I going to explain Zoey's gestational state to my 5-year-old daughter, the self-proclaimed "predisent" of her fan club?

"Media is everywhere and it is a super-peer; it's raising your kids as much as you are," says Liz Perle, editor in chief of Common Sense Media. "It normalizes situations like this and makes it acceptable. ... Our children are introduced to things way too early, but it's up to us as parents to seize hold of the situation."

Still, from a parental standpoint, the pregnancy of Nickelodeon's darling seems more poignant, more threatening than your run-of-the-mill star scandal. And it is. Because it forces us to have "the big talk" with our kids whether or not we deem them (or ourselves) ready.

"Thank you, Jamie Lynn," says Dr. Judy Kuriansky, a clinical psychologist on the faculty of Columbia University Teachers College. "You have ruined the innocence of lots of kids and mothers who would rather not talk about this.

"But," Kuriansky continues, "if you don't talk about it, you're in even worse shape." And she's right, because whether or not we've ever even heard of 'tween goddess Jamie Lynn Spears, you can bet that our kids have. And so have all their friends on the playground who are passing this story around like a bad case of the flu.

In other words, while it may be tempting to respond to our Zoey-inspired crisis by making Jamie/Britney/Mama Spears voodoo dolls, such savage measures will not help our situation. Instead we must embrace the silver lining of Jamie Lynn's cloud: a classic teachable moment. Here are some tips toward navigating the (virtually inevitable) "Zoey conversation" that lies ahead with your kids:

Test the waters. OK, so the New York Times reported that Star Magazine and its sister tabloids have replaced The Baby-sitters Club books in the favorite 'tween literature category. But the outside chance remains that your child has not heard about "Zoey 101's" latest adventures. Begin your conversation therefore, by asking your child what she knows about Jamie Lynn Spears. If you're confident she's oblivious, quickly change the subject to more childlike fare.


Open the floor for questions. Should you determine that your kid is clued into the fact that Spears is with child, don't jump in with a prepackaged, premeditated lecture. Instead let your child's questions guide your conversation. This will help you avoid spilling more info than necessary while keeping the discussion age-appropriate.


State the facts. As your child starts dishing out doozies, remain cool while answering the questions as honestly, factually and succinctly as possible. "Yes, it is true that Jamie Lynn is pregnant. The baby is due in the spring. I don't know if she will still be on 'Zoey 101.'"


Don't dance around the big ones. I know what you're thinking, "But what happens when my child asks me how a kid like Zoey could get pregnant in the first place?!" Of course, our knee-jerk reaction will be to run for cover at the first sign of this dreaded question, but we've already established that avoidance is not a viable option.

If you feel comfortable tackling this one on your own, go for it. If not, turn to the library for assistance. "Where Did I Come From?" by Peter Mayle and "What's the Big Secret: Talking About Sex with Boys and Girls" by Laurie Kransy and Marc Brown (of "Arthur" fame) are both great resources.


Reclaim the helm. While we've allowed our children's questions to shape our conversation up to this point, it's time to take back the helm. After all, in this age of the media-saturated childhood, our kids' value systems feel up for grabs, and we can't go down without a fight.

In other words don't end your Zoey chat without some heavy-duty l'dor v'dor - the passing of our values from one generation to the next. So turn off the TV and look your children right in the eye as you clearly communicate the hopes, dreams and expectations you hold - and will always hold - for their present and future.

Radio Hanukkah December 12th

Well, I am happy to tell you that I will be making my XM radio debut tomorrow night on Radio Hanukkah's Blowing Out the Candles program. And what a great topic we have in store for you - How to navigate the Christmas frenzy that lay ahead. Tune in tomorrow night from 9:40 pm to 10:00 pm (What do you mean that's past your bedtime?!). If you don't have an XM Radio, don't fret because you can tune in online at http://www.xmradio.com/hanukkah/
Be there or be square!

Happy Hanukkah!

This morning my kids were being surprisingly cooperative. What gives? I wondered. Were my children abducted by aliens and replaced with amazingly obedient versions of their former selves? No, I realized fifteen minutes into my behaviorally blissful morning, it's the Hanukkah effect. Tonight is the first night of the big eight and my kids aren't going to risk anything getting between them and their gelt.

And a surprisingly smooth morning routine isn't the only nice surprise I've received this Hanukkah. I've also gotten some great press for my book in the national media. First was Ari Goldman's column in the New York Daily News which called Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah "a gem of a new book". He went on to explain my suggestions for eight nights of Hanukkah rituals. Check it out at
http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/columnists/goldman/index.html
Next came a great article in USA Today called "Unwrapping the Spirit of Hanukkah" which also mentions my book. You can find that one at
http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2007-12-03-tzedakah_N.htm

Wishing you a Hanukkah spinning with fun, family and love.